What I Miss About "Illegal" Weed

All images provided by Mennlay Golokeh Aggrey

In Robert Neuwirth’s book, Stealth of Nations: The Global Rise of the Informal Economy, he points out that “illegal, off-the-books businesses collectively account for trillions of dollars in commerce and employ fully half the world's workers.” It’s a larger-than-life arena for “entrepreneurialism, innovation, and self-reliance” he says. 

The Informal Economy galvanized a 21-year-old black girl, fresh out of journalism school, to embark on what became a fifteen-year career in the cannabis industry. Under California’s proposition 215 Compassionate Use Act of 1996, California law permitted the use and production of medical cannabis in defiance of federal law.. Although this allowed me “legally” to grow ninety-nine plants with my medical cultivation license––the gray area of legality during that time was as thick and elusive as the clouds hugging the pristine redwood forests of my back yard. 

According to the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), marijuana is still classified as a Schedule I substance. A schedule I substance is considered to be the most dangerous of all schedules with no currently accepted medical use. This means that cannabis as a drug is among the ranks with heroin, lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD), methylenedioxymethamphetamine (ecstasy), and peyote. Under these same classifications, the United States federal government views drugs like cocaine, methamphetamine, oxycodone (OxyContin) and fentanyl as Schedule II substances, a step less dangerous than Schedule I. Let that sink into your brain for a minute; the U.S. government classifies meth, fentanyl and opioids as less dangerous than smoking a joint.

Why am I telling you this? To understand the severity of what it has meant and still means to cultivate, process and distribute marijuana. When Prop 215 was the only law making weed quasi-legal, at the time, growing and consuming still felt very much so against the law. I didn’t study journalism to grow weed. I didn’t get into this industry for Instagram likes or to become an influencer. If anything, the industry required a level of discretion. My dangerous and highly risky career choice didn’t come lightly, it was a decision that changed the course of my life forever.

The current climate of the cannabis industry is very shiny, very legal, and very sinister. It’s riddled with hurdles that only very few wealthy white men are equipped to jump over. Working in an emerging industry like cannabis has always been a challenge, but in 2020, it’s turning into another beast. So with all of this in the foreground, I’m taking a moment to reflect on  what I miss about the industry that shaped the woman I am today.

Innovation 

The underground industry was a hotbed for a motley crew of naturalists, nudists, ravers, urban dwellers, drug dealers, dreamers, dead-heads, hip-hop heads, dancehall fanatics, journalists, artists, freaks, geeks and every sub-culture under the sun. Being forced to work together spawned an intricate web of innovation and preservation. Each sub-group used its knowledge and life experiences to create systems of economics, ethics, horticulture, and rules that functioned for us, but also the larger mainstream society. So much so that many procedures and much of the illegal market’s vocabulary have found their way into the legal cannabis market.

Homegrown Self Regulation

Buckets of bat and fish guano. Vats of mushroom teas, natural plant nutrients and natural pesticides. These things were developed underground while using age-old agricultural techniques and trial and error to support our ever evolving cannabis plants. Mastering the cultivation of a healthy, thriving, and competitive indoor/outdoor grow was a struggle and great accomplishment. We self-regulated and strived to produce consistent, organic, clean and healthy weed, because otherwise, it wouldn’t sell. It should be noted that consumer safety has always been important to me and many folks in my close-knit ex grower community. At its core, the essential role of the FDA is important for the welfare of patients and recreational consumers alike. Now, with the crazy claims some companies make about cannabis and the wild products on the market like CBD burgers mattresses, things have gotten out of hand. Regulation is necessary. Yet as we witness the FDA’s failure to authentically look out for patients, especially on the heels of the opioid crisis––it gives me pause. I wonder if the slew of the most recent warning letters and lawsuits filed that prohibit some mom and pop cannabis shops are only a scheme to benefit too-large to fail pharmaceutical companies or lobby groups. Not consumers.

Loyalty, Confidentiality + Sacredness

Being in a romantic relationship as a ganja grower was hard af. In a recent episode of the podcast Broccoli Talk, we scanned the complexities of sex and relationships on weed. I lied about my profession for nearly a decade. I lied to sexual partners, family members and a lot of friends. That part of my life was a secret. There were little-to-no photoshoots in hemp fields, no canna expo events and CBD panels to flex your weed knowledge. Back then, we kept our lifestyle confidential on a need-to-know basis, and in return, it added a sacred and loyal texture to my inner circle and life. Cannabis has unfortunately become exploited. Both the actual plant genus and the people who built this industry––many of them are still in jail cells. It’s leaving a lot of us wondering what’s the point of all of this if it’s no longer sacred?

Nature + Sustainability

Nature should be intertwined into every aspect of growing cannabis. The sustainability of your garden is crucial to your plant’s health, your community's health, and the health of your ecosystem. Fleeing to nature for mental health, relaxation, or when things got difficult; like the loss of crops, rip-off, raides by the feds, droughts, and oversaturated markets –– it was and still is a refuge. Growing my own herb was a moment of meditation and a reminder to go back to nature for her healing salve. In the legal markets, we have seen capitalism regulating how we package, market and sell products. In Canada’s first year of legalization, there’s been an executive estimate of 10,000 tons of packaging filling up landfills instead of recycling bins. It’s feeling less about plant medicine and more about profits, a sick and vicious cycle affecting our climate as we speak.

Respect for the Cannabis Plant

Once you’ve grown your own cannabis, you develop a deeply profound heart connection to the actual plant. It’s like being a plant parent, but way more intense. It’s a moment of awe and appreciation for an ancient plant that has sacrificed its life for humanity over and over again. Sometimes you give thanks in the form of moon harvest ceremonies, harvesting and/or planting seeds during a full or new moon. Other times it’s formally thanking it for what you’re about to receive. It may seem corny, or overtly pagan, but the deep appreciation for marijuana and her flowers used to be on the forefront. Your career and your livelihood were nothing without her. 

This past harvest season was very disheartening. I witnessed new growers and cannabiz owners demonstrate extreme entitlement with little respect for the plant. You’ll find people growing weed who not only refuse to consume cannabis in any form—THC flower, CBD tinctures, or topical applications—but they also view the industry to be a hoax pushed by ignorant hippies. They’re only in it for the money and their greed is difficult to observe. Likely worse for the field hands and employees who work under them. Yes I know that it’s idealistic and naive to expect all pot growers to fall on their knees to praise marijuana. But respecting weed as the living and growing lifeforce that pays their bills and fuels your wealth isn’t outlandish. It was normal. 

Weed Money Funneling Into Communities 

From the black and brown folks in big cities to the hippies in Humboldt, our governments are failing to compensate and help rebuild the communities that sacrificed their sons, fathers, sisters and daughters to establish this cannabis industry. It’s left many in disgust to see how most equity programs are still leaving communities behind. Many black merchants and aspiring dispensary owners legally registering their businesses through equity programs are ironically finding themselves directly affected by white supremacy’s hand in the War on Drugs. Many have been denied licenses while being thrown into debt as they see white owners thrive. The problem with most social cannabis equity programs is that they’re too late and steeped in the backwater of bureaucracy. It’s a vicious circle spinning very quickly out of control without any signs of slowing down or being remedied. 

I don’t slide into nostalgia without remembering how hard and rare it was for me, a young black woman, to carve out a career in the pre-legalized cannabis industry. Most of us know the sobering fact that only 5% of senior roles in the cannabis industry were held by women of color, with all women making up only 27% of this sector. This road has always been rough. My neighbors threaten to call the cops on me for growing weed. My housing was revoked many times without warning. My eligibility for loans to buy land was a joke, and my ability to bail myself out of jail if shit hit the fan was all but impossible. Unlike a lot of the people even then in the “illegal” market, I didn’t have white middle-class parents to bail me out of prison. I put myself in various dangerous and demeaning situations to sell pounds; while appropriative white rasta dudes with dreads grew shitty weed, excelling with little struggle. 

The underground and legal cannabis industry, like any industry, is permeated with sexism, ableism, white supremacy, poor-shaming, homophobia and plenty of discriminiation. What gives me some hope is the fact that many in the space are commiting to changing. What I appreciate about the legal industry is the platform to amplify these issues without the same fears when weed was part of the Informal Economy. I respect and bow to industry leaders, activists and growers leading by example speaking out and doing the right thing––giving all folks that need it the most safe access to weed. And isn’t that the point?

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